I blathered on in my last post about values and treating each other decently.
This was generally in reference to the pathetic spectacle the Republican candidates have made of themselves in the last several weeks -- cheering the death of a fellow American, booing a gay soldier --and specifically to the remarks made by a guy named Pastor Jeffress (Values Voters!) regarding the Mormon faith of Mitt Romney.
Of course, the embarrassment these people represent isn't limited to the national stage. Here in Florida, we have our own Republicans on a whole 'nuther level to deal with.
I give you State Representative Brad Drake (R-Eucheeanna) and the latest legislation he has filed: give inmates condemned to death the option to choose firing squad or the electric chair. Drake's moment of inspiration came where all good legislation has come from: a Waffle House in DeFuniak Springs.
...Drake said he heard a constituent say, "'You know, they ought to just put them in the electric chair or line them up in front of a firing squad.'" After a conversation with the person, Drake, 36, said he decided to file the bill.
Of course, crafting legislation to lead your state while wolfing down scattered, covered, and smothered hash browns isn't actually the best part of this story.
No, this is a story of the country lawmaker with a heart of gold!
"There shouldn't be anything controversial about a .45-caliber bullet. If it were up to me we would just throw them off the Sunshine Skyway bridge and be done with it," Drake said.
And by "heard of gold," I mean empty space where a soul should have gone. And by "country lawmaker," I mean idiot.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
For my readers not familiar with Florida, let me give you a visual on the Sunshine Skyway, just a couple of miles from my house, spanning the mouth of Tampa Bay:
It's a tall freakin' bridge. Just ask Duncan, who used to drive over it every single day going down to Sarasota.
And it is a beautiful bridge, too. How dare Representative Drake defile this majestic bridge -- actually, the Bob Graham Sunshine Skyway, officially.
I'm always curious how guys like Brad Drake really think -- I mean, aside from divining inspiration from Waffle House patrons -- and so I visited his campaign site and clicked "Brad on the Issues," expecting some detailed policy on, say, the criminal justice system, or even our corrections system.
No such luck. Here is the whole thing in full. I may have comments interspersed:
These are my basic beliefs that guide me as a State Representative:
» The government should be least intrusive in our lives.
Okay, already I have to jump in, here. Is there any more intrusive manifestation of government than shooting a person dead?
» We the people should hold more personal freedoms.
Um. Yeah. And when "we the people" commit crimes, those freedoms should be removed as the person is in prison. Is Brad Drake's position really that "we the people" should shoot convicts to hold them to account for their criminal actions? It's the ultimate removal of freedom -- and there's no putting the bullet back in the gun.
» Residents should not be taxed out of prosperity.
» Small businesses should be allowed to prosper in a climate where over-regulation and taxation does not stifle local and state economies.
» Family values should take precedence.
Family values should take precedence... over what? And what family values? Shooting people?
» Firm Pro-Life advocate: protecting the sanctity of life and the unborn, believing that life begins at conception.
"...and ends when the Department of Corrections shoots your ass dead."
» Property taxes need to be further reduced.
» (With no apologies) God should never be removed from the Pledge of Allegiance when spoken in our schools or removed from / within government buildings.
» In the 2nd Amendment
It's like he thought he started "I believe..." But he actually forgot that part. I think we can all agree that Brad Drake believes "in the 2nd Amendment," which means the answer to everything is pretty much guns.
» Sufficient and expanded transportation and utility infrastructure is necessary.
» Immigration reform is necessary.
» Prayer should be allowed in schools.
» In access to quality, affordable healthcare.
» In working for available and affordable property insurance.
» In planning for adequate water and precious natural resource needs.
I said it yesterday, I'll say it again today: Republicans have lost something along the way.
Throw them off the Sunshine Skyway...? This isn't public policy. This isn't even politics anymore. It is a circus of incompetent clowns. Our legislature has become the dominion of pathetic wannabes whose half-baked half-sentence talking points and chain restaurant musings are what pass for serious public policy and critical legislation.
I'd call on Brad Drake to feel shame. Unfortunately, one of the tragic side-effects of whatever it is Republicans across the nation seem to be suffering from is that whatever inside them used to house shame is dormant. Or maybe they sacrificed their shame at the altar of power and money.
Who knows. Maybe it faced the firing squad.