by Benjamin J. Kirby
Finnegan is due any day now.
I know exactly what you're thinking: I should be widely lauded, celebrated, showered with kudos, and hailed as some sort of pop culture god both at work and at home for not only remembering the lyrics to the Burt Bacharach smash hit "Any Day Now," but also for being good enough to share their magic with my family via my atonal, tuneless (and unbearably nasal) warbling.
Sadly, not every member of my family feels this way. I believe Emeline's exact words were, "stop singing, Daddy."
It may have been "Daddy, please stop singing."
As it happens, I am most familiar with the version made famous by the great Ronnie Milsap (sung sort of cornily by Elvis before him, forgettably by Alan Price before him, and in a neat kind of Motown way by Chuck Jackson before him.). After the less-than-stellar review of such a moving rendition/imitation, I decided to suffer alone the indignity of realizing that the Milsap version of this fantastic -- and, save for the title, vaguely inappropriate -- song was recorded and released the year my wife was born.
Surprisingly, my grand selflessness provides no comfort to my incredibly pregnant wife. These last few days and weeks haven't been easy, and no amount of crooning from Ronnie Milsap -- or me -- seems to make her feel any better.
Still, we're all eagerly awaiting the arrival of Finn. We know he's coming, coming soon, and we'll be so happy when he does. Our house is filled with some discomfort, yes, and not just from the sounds of my singing. But our house is also filled with joy and anticipation.
Finn is coming.
Any day now.
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That was a roundabout -- and goofy -- way of saying things are busy at home. So sorry for less-than-regular posting. It's for a good cause.
Of course, I've been a little off politics lately, too. And by "off," I mean ready to bludgeon myself with my Boston Red Sox game day commemorative mini-bat until the precious few thinky parts finally, mercifully go numb. The final, pathetic straw for me -- at least for the next few news cycles, or whatever -- was this whole war on women non-deal deal.
I guess I'm supposed to be outraged because a Democratic consultant named Hilary Rosen said something about Ann Romney not working a day in her life, which then got turned around into somehow a knock against mothers who stay home to raise their kids. Never mind that Rosen meant that Ann Romney never held a nine to five job in the classic, traditional sense: she never filled out an application to work at a company, an orgnaization, whatever.
Is staying home and raising kids work? Sure it is. It's important work. But that's not what Rosen was talking about.
Nevermind. It was made that by the Romney operatives, who then proceeded to handle their minor gift in as incompetent a way as you could imagine.
Ann Romney -- a woman who is so wealthy, she not only drives "a couple of Cadillacs" (and has an elevator for them), she participates in a complicated sporting event involving horses that you've never heard of (it's called "dressage") -- "loved" being attacked for staying home to raise her kids.
That was really a shark-jumping moment for me.
But as you already know, in politics, the shark has a goddam trampoline. Rosen became a target of over-the-top attacks from the likes of Bill Donohoe's Catholic League::
@CatholicLeague: Lesbian Dem Hilary Rosen tells Ann Romney she never worked a day in her life. Unlike Rosen, who had to adopt kids, Ann raised 5 of her own.
And now we're declaring war on people who adopt kids. I suppose it's needless to say the war on the GLBT community continues from the likes of Donohoe -- it's just amped up.
Maybe because the Romney Campaign is just not used to being in general election mode, or perhaps because they're really asleep at the switch, they've handled the fallout of all of this very, very poorly.
Mitt himself has talked more candidly behind closed doors, and it hasn't gone well. When Ann has gone on the record, it hasn't gone well, either.
“They were not easy years. You have to understand, I was raised in a lovely neighborhood, as was Mitt, and at BYU, we moved into a $62-a-month basement apartment with a cement floor and lived there two years as students with no income.
“It was tiny. And I didn’t have money to carpet the floor. But you can get remnants, samples, so I glued them together, all different colors. It looked awful, but it was carpeting.
“We were happy, studying hard. Neither one of us had a job, because Mitt had enough of an investment from stock that we could sell off a little at a time.
“The stock came from Mitt’s father. When he took over American Motors, the stock was worth nothing. But he invested Mitt’s birthday money year to year — it wasn’t much, a few thousand, but he put it into American Motors because he believed in himself. Five years later, stock that had been $6 a share was $96 and Mitt cashed it so we could live and pay for education.
“Mitt and I walked to class together, shared housekeeping, had a lot of pasta and tuna fish and learned hard lessons.
Bold is mine because, Jesus Cash Cow Christ, if you can ever use the phrase "sell off a little at a time," as it pertains to stock, you don't know what you're talking about with respect to "not easy years." You're living off the stock of the company your father-in-law owns.
It's hard to find something more distasteful than the ultra-wealthy play-acting everyman. It's downright uncomfortable when they do it as poorly as the Romneys.
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My outrage about working mothers is supposed to be further supplemented by this image, via Mustang Bobby, of Hillary Clinton dancing in Colombia:
Yes, chortles Dr. Nile Gardiner (director of the Margaret Thatcher Center for Freedom! ...but not the freedom... to DANCE!) -- and you just know it's that gurgling, evil British chortle, too; Lord, he's probably stroking a white cat in his undersea fortress of evil, even as he writes in the orignial U.K. Telegraph piece:
The overwhelmingly liberal US media is treating the story as a bit of fun, with the usually austere Mrs Clinton seen as letting her hair down. But I suspect that a lot of US taxpayers will see it differently – as a senior government official having a jolly time on an official overseas junket at taxpayers’ expense. And this was hardly a display of good judgment at a time when nearly 13 million Americans are unemployed, and US soldiers are laying their lives on the line every day in Afghanistan. In an effortless display of leading from behind, Hillary was partying in Colombia while the Taliban were about to launch a wave of terror attacks in Kabul.
It is hard to imagine Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell, Madeleine Albright or Henry Kissinger “livin' la vida loca” on the world stage. This was less an example of “smart power” than a boozy nightclub audition for the sixth season of Jersey Shore. Hillary Clinton’s Colombian antics are an embarrassment for a high-level cabinet member on official duty, and have lowered the office of Secretary of State. Not exactly the sort of image the federal government should be projecting at a time of widespread public disillusionment with Washington excesses.
Mmmm! Yes! "Livin' la vida loca"! Aren't I the clever one?
Hey, I get what he's doing. He's working on a tie-in to the Secret Service scandal, which is starting to look like a very real, very serious problem. Maybe he's even envisioning a larger narrative with what's happened at GSA: something which may -- and should -- offend "a lot of US taxpayers".
You know, maybe if he'd stopped there. But he didn't, and now I am obliged to point out, as Mustang Bobby did, this: let's all feel free to dance along and have a "jolly time" with Condi; here's Colin Powell dignifying the office of Secretary of State by doing the Macarena; and the guy who actually sent those soldiers to "lay their lives on the line" in Afghanistan and Iraq, George W. Bush.
And as for the "overwhelmingly liberal media," here's another good example of one of their own premier club members expressing dignity and concern in a time of war... with the warmakers themselves, one might point out... [STROKES WHITE KITTY AND LAUGHS AN EVIL LAUGH].
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It's all really too much.
And now for some reason Ted Nugent, of all people, is in my face.
Rocker Ted Nugent has reportedly earned himself the scrutiny of the Secret Service after saying over the weekend that he would be "dead or in jail by this time next year" if President Barack Obama is re-elected.
Nugent made the comments during an interview at the National Rifle Association convention in St. Louis, comparing Obama and his administration to "coyotes" that needed to be shot and encouraging voters to "chop [Democrats'] heads off in November."
You know, the older I get, the less patience I have for the likes of Ted Nugent.
This isn't even politics -- it's just insulting and threatening people. I hope that my son and daughter grow up in an America where we've figured out that the ten minutes of the Ted Nugents of the world (not ot mention the NRA) were up a long time ago. Intolerance isn't news, hate is no longer a headline.
Any day now.
-- More later --